One Word, Four Definitions

Happy Tuesday, my friends! Day 2 of the #PNIWritingChallenge is all about the word waxing and what it means to me.

Being a female, I imagine most people think I’m going to talk about going to the salon and getting my hair and nails “done did”. I could go in this direction, rather easily. I enjoy getting my toes done and hair, well, that’s a whole other ball of wax. (Ha! I found a way to use wax!)

My super short boy-cut hair is colored by one person and that person is me. This way if it gets messed up there is no one to blame but myself. The fact that my hair is as short as it is makes mistakes easy to overcome. Worst case scenario is that I’ll have to look like I messed up for two months.

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Over the weekend I put this theory into practice.

Regular readers will recall I turned 40 just over a week ago. When I went in for my trim the amount of grey clumps hitting the ground was completely normal. This time I felt the urge to do something about it however. I bought a red hue because it’s fall and that’s what I generally do. There are no leaves changing colors in Florida. I must have subconsciously missed that because the color I picked up reminds me of the red of maple leaves.

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It also reminds me of the red that Red (Kate Mulgrew is awesome) has in the first couple of seasons of Orange is the New Black. A great show, not exactly a color I normally aim for. It works for me, though this time my eyebrows are stretching their limitations for blending.

What does this have to do with waxing? I just mentioned my eyebrows, didn’t I? I have the things trimmed and the natural arch enhanced once every few months because I, too, care about the extinction of the monobrow (I’ve used this phrase before and I like it so suck it up).

BOOM! There’s one definition. Next!

I have many, many friends who believe in the legalization of marijuana. They’d prefer straight up legalization but will accept medical for now. Baby steps, I suppose. I’m not here to advocate for either side of this issue. That breaks my #1 rule of the Internet/Social Media/Blog in that I do not discuss religion or politics.

Then again I broke that with my posting about candy but can one blame me? There’s a lot going on right now. I believe I showed considerable restraint. Candy Saves My Sanity

Anywho –

Lately I’ve been hearing about this stuff called wax or, grossly enough, “ear wax“. Gag me with a spoon … please.

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It’s a super potent way to get a marijuana buzz that is intense and, from what I understand, shorter acting. One of my buddies wants me to try it for my back/neck issues. He also firmly believes that if I smoke regularly then I will gain weight.

He’s not wrong on that second part. My weight gain averages 5-10 pounds and then stays steady when I’m a regular smoker – a midnight toker, if you will.

I’m generally more than willing to try new things – a trait that has brought on both good and bad results. I’ve avoided some of the more hardcore drugs in my lifetime, like cocaine and heroin as examples, and there’s no shame in that game.

That being said, I’m avoiding wax. I watched a video of an old hippie who has been smoking for most of his life take a small hit off of a wax ball. It shut his ass down. That reaction is far more than what I am seeking.

Second definition check. Next!

M-O-O-N that spells Tom Cullen … Hopefully you got that reference and, if not, read better books.

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Waxing and waning, waning and waxing. I often mix those two up, which is somewhat embarrassing. The moon is one of few things I stare at and take a moment to figure out which word is actually appropriate.

How do I remember?

Waxing is growing larger. Waning is growing smaller. My appetite wanes when people watch me eat … My eyebrows wane when I get them waxed … That last one makes my head swirl somewhat, but I’ll be fine, don’t worry. Now that I’m staring at those words, I’m wondering why autocorrect isn’t telling me that “wane” is being used incorrectly.

I dislike that phenomena, where one stares at a word long enough that it seems fake. It’s disconcerting and sometimes makes me question my sanity. If words fail me, what do I have left?

There seems to be no way to glance at the moon and know whether it is waxing or waning. One must remember when the last full or new moon occurred and go from there. That works for me, I suppose, though I wish there was a giant marker of some sort that let us know.

Third definition check. Next!

Bet you didn’t think there were actually four definitions to this word. I know I had to change my title from three to four after remembering this one:

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Who forgets about waxing a car? Mostly people who don’t do it very often. I am one of those people.

As much as I claim my car has a wide, long ass end, I adore it. I drive a Chrysler Pacifica at the moment. It has air ride suspension and other options that are new to me, like the third row seating that makes me feel like I’m driving a damn bus.

It’s a pain in the ass to park and I hold grudges against inanimate objects.

If I had my dream car, however, I’d be waxing that sucker all the time. What is my dream car? For this exercise that’s irrelevant information. A woman has to keep some things to herself, try to maintain the mystery and all that. If you want to make guesses I’ll be happy to tell you yes or no, but remember that I’m an author and we’re professional liars.

Well, that was fun. I delivered the promise of four definitions of one word. Hopefully we all learned a little something and, if we didn’t, what the hell? Are you me?

 

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