Hospital Checklist

Day 24 of the #WingWritingChallenge gives me the heebie jeebies. It probably does that for most people.

One of my first memories is of going to the hospital. I’ve spent so much time in assorted hospitals that I straight up refuse to go into it for this writing challenge. My visits could be their own book.

Even when I’m visiting for a happy reason like someone’s baby being born, I shiver, shake, and my brain doesn’t work right. I’m constantly waiting for an orderly to grab me and say they need more blood for something.

I say awkward things and bump into stuff. My breath quickens, and goosebumps will cover my entire body. If someone comes up behind and touches me, I jump to the ceiling.

Basically a low to mid-grade panic attack.

Thinking about this is bringing it on. It doesn’t help that I’m sitting at my pain management doctor’s office as I write this.

Instead I am going to offer my expertise. It’s a lucky day for all of us, I say with no snark intended. There I go telling lies again. Darn authors.

It should go without saying that these tips are for when one is conscious and not in a near death experience.

If You Are On Your Way For Your Own Illness or Injury:

Bring a charging cord for your phone. You’re going to be texting and making a lot of phone calls. There are several convenient outlets for this purpose.

Bring your e-reader, a book to read, something you can look at. Yes, you hurt and at the moment you don’t care. You’re going to. ¬†Don’t forget the charging cord for this.

Have a go-bag in the car. This will have a spare change of clothes, socks and underwear, contacts case and glasses if you wear them, deodorant, and a toothbrush. If you are kept for observation or need certain tests, you will be glad this is available. Include a sweatshirt. You may be cold more often than not and hospital blankets suck.

Have your ID and insurance card easily accessible. You’ll be showing them off regularly. Make sure any allergies are marked in your chart. And I mean ANY. Their knowing that I am allergic to shellfish stopped them from a procedure that could have killed me.

If You Are Going To Visit a Friend – Non-Childbirth-Related:

Bring a sweatshirt. It’s going to be cold in the waiting room and in their hospital room.

Have ID handy. It’s more common to have to show that to visit people.

Don’t bring flowers. It’s sweet, and nice to be thinking of them, but if they are in the hospital for more than a day or two, they would rather have something to keep them occupied. Bring books, magazines, a way for them to listen to an audio book, some coloring books, ANYthing you can think of.

Be a pal if you have good signal and hook the patient up with a wi-fi hotspot. They haven’t had good signal since they were checked in and Facebook is moving on without them.

If you’re allowed, bring food. It doesn’t matter what. A sub, chips, fast food, non-flat soda, anything with flavor. Hospital food sucksssss so much.

Bring a gift of warm, non-slip socks or slippers. You will be loved.

Jokes not related to whatever put them in the hospital are appreciated. Jokes about how far the four-wheeler flew out of that tree and omg you’re lucky to be alive can wait. Thanks.

If You Are Going to Visit New or Repeat Parents:

Same situation as above except flowers are good. A small toy to show you care the baby was born is great but they’re going to bless you for real food this time, too.

Warm slippers, yes. Think of Mom, not the baby. Baby will be spoiled, new Mom needs love too.

Same advice about the hotspot.

Give dad a few minutes to run downstairs and do what he needs whenever you can. He’s a busy guy, too.

***

Do you have suggestions for the hospital checklist? Share in comments!

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