Five Personal Fears

Day 19 of the #30daywritingchallenge is all about fears. It’s demanding five of them.

 I mastered one of my fears relatively recently, which consisted of putting myself out into the world as an author and everything that entails. Even if it’s always been my dream, I was scared to death. 

Now I feel all awesome and professional. I can publicly speak about anything with limited nerves. It’s a beautiful thing. 

But, AK, what about current fears? No one asked about old ones.

Okay, that’s fair. 

1. Motherf**king snakes. If I ever caught one in my house, I would move and probably burn it down when I was on my way out the door. 

It’s a family thing. My grandmother was raised somewhat in the country and they had to watch out for rattlers. Her fear is so ingrained that it’s made it to be rest of us. She doesn’t run though, not Sharkie. No, she’ll kill the things with a shovel or a hoe. Her kids had to get her a metal handle hoe so she’d stop breaking the wooden ones. 

Did I mention my grandmother is a bad ass?

2. Niblings. I love them so much and I know they love me. They think I’m brilliant, beautiful, and strong.

My fear is they’ll forget me as they grow older while I’m living out of state. I’ll come to town and they’d rather play with their friends than see me. 

This one could legit happen. This means I have to get back there to visit and get better at sending postcards. This is a fear I have control over. 

3. A major illness in the family. I constantly worry about my SO, brother, sister, the entire family that consists of around 100 people really, but I’m scared one of the closet members will be diagnosed with cancer or other scary things. 

My grandfather passed from cancer. It was heart wrenching. 

4. Flipping a vehicle. Don’t get me wrong, I did this once (3 1/2 rotations! Revolutions?) and walked away. I doubt I’d be that lucky a second time. 

I have air ride suspension and the way the car feels like it’s floating will sometimes make me freak a little. It’s the same sliding feeling in my stomach. 

5. That I’m wasting my time and money on this author thing. I go through this every six months or so. 

Then I remember it’s a bit of a waiting game. Be patient, put good books out there, and it will happen. 

Care to share your fears in comments?

2 thoughts on “Five Personal Fears

  1. Oh AK I am so thankful that you got over the fear of putting yourself out there because I for one and I know I am not alone would be very, very sorry for not to have been able to read your wonderful books! Please never give up. I am like you snakes belong in a zoo. I know they serve a purpose in the whole plan but I NEVER have to see them. Loss of anyone is tough but loss of a love one is brutal but as we age it is inevitable. That is a harsh statement but a very true one. I can’t tell you how many family members that ugly “BIG C” has taken away from me! We really do need to find a cure for that. You are an amazing person and I am so glad to count myself among your friends!


    1. I love you, woman! Oddly enough, as soon as I posted that I took the dog for a walk and a freaking baby snake was standing guard at the door to the breezeway. I threw mulch at it thinking it would go off to the side, but no, it went under the door instead. If there was no access to the outside from there, I would have been looking for gas and a match. Hate it hate it hate it. I believe I just passed the fear on to be dog lol. He scurried so fast once I said okay


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